So here we go....

..again on this road. Another way to take all my thoughts, fears, struggles, and emotions and just simply put them into words. Doesn't it seem like the hardest thing to do at times is to just...well...type?

So I sit here in my recliner thinking about all the things I could possibly write about that would even begin to summarize what is going on my life right now. Just one word comes to mind though...Maia.

In about 3 weeks (give or take a few days, but I really hope not), I will finally be able to put a face with a name. Do you ever hear someone's name and know it sounds firmiliar but you cannot remember their face for the life of you? That is how I feel. I hear her name every single day. I talk about her, I dream about her, I think about her almost as though I've had her and she's gone. But it's the exact opposite. I haven't even gotten to meet her yet.

I never thought I was going to be a mother. Some people just have the "motherly-gene" and they know that one day they will have children of their own, and be able to go from whatever their first name is, to...."Mommy". Never did I think that was going to be me. Nor did I really want to. I was always pretty much set on the fact that I would never get married, and never have children. I would always have someone, but never actually tie the knot and get serious enough to plan forever. Man, how that's changed. And the truth is, I have no complaints. Not at all.

As of tomorrow, February 7th, I will be 37 weeks pregnant. I have gone through 259 days of pregnancy. 6216 hours of growing, eating, changing, and thinking. Whoever said pregnancy was easy...they've done some pretty hard stuff in their life. I have never been through an obstacle like this before. From the day I found out (July 5th, 2008) until this very second, I honestly think that after the pregnancy is all over, I'll be able to do anything. Some might say that the pregnancy was the easy part, and that may be true because I haven't even taken a step into motherhood yet. But the way I see it, I'll be able to hold her, kiss her, make her smile and giggle and know that it was all worth it. At this very moment, I can't even see my toes. So even if the hardest part is still to come, at least I'll be able to walk 5 steps without having to pee.