This was the first morning I woke up and was actually nervous about going into labor. Yesterday I was looking at the calendar and realized I'm actually 9 months pregnant. Some women don't even make it this far, and here I am. My due date is in exactly 17 days and up until now, that has been so far away. It actually hit me that it's only about 2 weeks away. After all the planning, cleaning and getting everything put together for her arrival, I never sat down and actually thought about how close the day actually is. I guess it kind of made me a little nervous.
I'm sure every women in my position gets to a point where a thousand questions run across their mind. "Am I really going to be a mother?" "Will it hurt as much as I expect it to?" "Am I honestly ready for this?" These questions never really crossed my mind until I woke up this morning. I looked in the mirror and thought.. "wow, I'm going to be a mommy" But I don't think it's the "mommy" part that scares me. I know I am ready to be a mother. I have prepared and prepped for this day for over 9 months now, and I'm more than ready. I think I'm getting cold feet over the whole 'pushing a baby out' deal. It's scary as hell! And whoever says it's not...psh. Please!
I haven't told Clay that I'm scared yet. I don't want him to think I'm not ready. I know he's going to be the best birthing partner in the entire world, but I hope that I do everything I am supposed to do as well.
So 17 days to go. Probably give or take a few.. but it's here.
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