So it's Valentines Day. I woke up this morning and just figured it was another day. I never really liked the whole "V-Day" thing. I hate red roses, boxed chocolates aren't the greatest, and the idea of your boyfriend/girlfriend or whoever spoiling you because they feel like they have to is pathetic. I'm sure at one point I liked Valentines Day just like everyone else. Maybe I had a bad experience, but honestly.. I can't remember the last time I celebrated this day. And did you know that this day in history was actually a massacre?
Other than that, tomorrow I am finally getting my crib! It had to be delivered from the warehouse to Babies R Us, then picked up. So my dad and Papaw are bringing it to me tomorrow. It seems like everything is pretty much coming together, and it's wonderful. I only have 13 days left until my due date, so it's time to just rest and prepare for the day. I have an appointment on Monday, and I am praying that I am finally dilating. I am also going to talk to him about inducing me. He is going on vacation the first week of March, and I would really want him to deliver instead of his back-up doc. So we'll see how that turns out too.
I got my hair colored! Woo hoo! It's not dark anymore, I actually put some blond, and carmel in it and it looks great! My goal is to be completely blond by summer. I'm going to be a hot mamma :0)
Other than that, life hasn't changed much yet. It's pretty boring and uneventful, but here in about 2 weeks.. that will all change!
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Monday, February 9, 2009
just got nervous!
This was the first morning I woke up and was actually nervous about going into labor. Yesterday I was looking at the calendar and realized I'm actually 9 months pregnant. Some women don't even make it this far, and here I am. My due date is in exactly 17 days and up until now, that has been so far away. It actually hit me that it's only about 2 weeks away. After all the planning, cleaning and getting everything put together for her arrival, I never sat down and actually thought about how close the day actually is. I guess it kind of made me a little nervous.
I'm sure every women in my position gets to a point where a thousand questions run across their mind. "Am I really going to be a mother?" "Will it hurt as much as I expect it to?" "Am I honestly ready for this?" These questions never really crossed my mind until I woke up this morning. I looked in the mirror and thought.. "wow, I'm going to be a mommy" But I don't think it's the "mommy" part that scares me. I know I am ready to be a mother. I have prepared and prepped for this day for over 9 months now, and I'm more than ready. I think I'm getting cold feet over the whole 'pushing a baby out' deal. It's scary as hell! And whoever says it's not...psh. Please!
I haven't told Clay that I'm scared yet. I don't want him to think I'm not ready. I know he's going to be the best birthing partner in the entire world, but I hope that I do everything I am supposed to do as well.
So 17 days to go. Probably give or take a few.. but it's here.
I'm sure every women in my position gets to a point where a thousand questions run across their mind. "Am I really going to be a mother?" "Will it hurt as much as I expect it to?" "Am I honestly ready for this?" These questions never really crossed my mind until I woke up this morning. I looked in the mirror and thought.. "wow, I'm going to be a mommy" But I don't think it's the "mommy" part that scares me. I know I am ready to be a mother. I have prepared and prepped for this day for over 9 months now, and I'm more than ready. I think I'm getting cold feet over the whole 'pushing a baby out' deal. It's scary as hell! And whoever says it's not...psh. Please!
I haven't told Clay that I'm scared yet. I don't want him to think I'm not ready. I know he's going to be the best birthing partner in the entire world, but I hope that I do everything I am supposed to do as well.
So 17 days to go. Probably give or take a few.. but it's here.
Friday, February 6, 2009
So here we go....
..again on this road. Another way to take all my thoughts, fears, struggles, and emotions and just simply put them into words. Doesn't it seem like the hardest thing to do at times is to just...well...type?
So I sit here in my recliner thinking about all the things I could possibly write about that would even begin to summarize what is going on my life right now. Just one word comes to mind though...Maia.
In about 3 weeks (give or take a few days, but I really hope not), I will finally be able to put a face with a name. Do you ever hear someone's name and know it sounds firmiliar but you cannot remember their face for the life of you? That is how I feel. I hear her name every single day. I talk about her, I dream about her, I think about her almost as though I've had her and she's gone. But it's the exact opposite. I haven't even gotten to meet her yet.
I never thought I was going to be a mother. Some people just have the "motherly-gene" and they know that one day they will have children of their own, and be able to go from whatever their first name is, to...."Mommy". Never did I think that was going to be me. Nor did I really want to. I was always pretty much set on the fact that I would never get married, and never have children. I would always have someone, but never actually tie the knot and get serious enough to plan forever. Man, how that's changed. And the truth is, I have no complaints. Not at all.
As of tomorrow, February 7th, I will be 37 weeks pregnant. I have gone through 259 days of pregnancy. 6216 hours of growing, eating, changing, and thinking. Whoever said pregnancy was easy...they've done some pretty hard stuff in their life. I have never been through an obstacle like this before. From the day I found out (July 5th, 2008) until this very second, I honestly think that after the pregnancy is all over, I'll be able to do anything. Some might say that the pregnancy was the easy part, and that may be true because I haven't even taken a step into motherhood yet. But the way I see it, I'll be able to hold her, kiss her, make her smile and giggle and know that it was all worth it. At this very moment, I can't even see my toes. So even if the hardest part is still to come, at least I'll be able to walk 5 steps without having to pee.
So I sit here in my recliner thinking about all the things I could possibly write about that would even begin to summarize what is going on my life right now. Just one word comes to mind though...Maia.
In about 3 weeks (give or take a few days, but I really hope not), I will finally be able to put a face with a name. Do you ever hear someone's name and know it sounds firmiliar but you cannot remember their face for the life of you? That is how I feel. I hear her name every single day. I talk about her, I dream about her, I think about her almost as though I've had her and she's gone. But it's the exact opposite. I haven't even gotten to meet her yet.
I never thought I was going to be a mother. Some people just have the "motherly-gene" and they know that one day they will have children of their own, and be able to go from whatever their first name is, to...."Mommy". Never did I think that was going to be me. Nor did I really want to. I was always pretty much set on the fact that I would never get married, and never have children. I would always have someone, but never actually tie the knot and get serious enough to plan forever. Man, how that's changed. And the truth is, I have no complaints. Not at all.
As of tomorrow, February 7th, I will be 37 weeks pregnant. I have gone through 259 days of pregnancy. 6216 hours of growing, eating, changing, and thinking. Whoever said pregnancy was easy...they've done some pretty hard stuff in their life. I have never been through an obstacle like this before. From the day I found out (July 5th, 2008) until this very second, I honestly think that after the pregnancy is all over, I'll be able to do anything. Some might say that the pregnancy was the easy part, and that may be true because I haven't even taken a step into motherhood yet. But the way I see it, I'll be able to hold her, kiss her, make her smile and giggle and know that it was all worth it. At this very moment, I can't even see my toes. So even if the hardest part is still to come, at least I'll be able to walk 5 steps without having to pee.
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